Whatever Happened to That Girl...?

One month POST OP visit.

2008-08-05T20:07:00.000-07:00

I saw Dr. Capizzi today for my One Month post-op visit. So here are some things I have learned so far about having breast reconstruction surgery. Things that aren’t so medical, that you may not hear from your plastic surgeon…

1.) It’s a BIG deal. You need rest. Listen to the advice of your surgeon, he really knows what
he’s talking about.
2.) You won’t lose sensation in your nipples, ALWAYS. I put this surgery off for a long time
because of that. My nipples are super sensitive right now and I think I have a good chance
that they will remain this way.
3.) Your hair lines will move with this surgery. I have armpit hair on the side of my breast. I
hadn’t thought about this even though it WAS mentioned to me prior to surgery. (They do
offer laser hair removal at Stillwater!)
4.) The feelings or lack thereof are weird to deal with in the whole upper body, like shaving
under your arm for instance. I am very scared to shave under my arm because I can’t really
feel under there (that’s how I noticed the few hairs on the side of my breast, not many.) and
also how I noticed how FULL my armpits were. Forgot to ask about that.
5.) There’s a lot of freakin’ fluid! This is how your body heals, and it can be scary! I work in the
medical field and I have had other surgeries and I did not know that it took this much fluid
to heal your body when it had this type of incision.
6.) “arnica montana” is some kind of miracle supplement that Dr. Capizzi’s office offers and it is
a miracle! I have never experienced a bump that I did not bruise from and this was much
more then a bruise and that stuff rocked the house to make it possible for me not to bruise.
7.) I should’ve taken more time off of work to rest. I don’t know if that has anything to do with
my fluid build up, but so far I wish I would have rested more.
8.) Don’t freak out and think that what you see right then or right now is “what you get,”
because my breasts are changing everyday and I am thrilled every single day.

The staff at Stillwater have been amazing and patient with a difficult patient like myself. I am paranoid about ever scrap and odd looking thing I can find and they have been a very easy going staff.

Have a good night y’all.

Steff

One month Anniversary.

2008-08-02T20:49:00.000-07:00

It’s been one month with the girls. We all like each other. We get along very well, and think that this will be a lasting relationship. We’ve decided to write our own vows, we think it will mean more. We know that a “man” introduced us and brought us together but in reality it is our love (well and body and skin and all)that will keep us bonded for life.

Hee hee.

Happy Anniversary New Girls!

Steff

Month is coming to an END

2008-07-30T22:37:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe JULY is almost over, it feels like I have slept through most of it, I feel like I haven’t had a chance to get much of anything done this month. It has all been a blur.

Surgery, pain meds, seminars and new staff members. Not to mention how tired I have been. August has a lot to look forward to, but a lot to do as well. It’s also VACATION time! I hope to see some of you at the speaking engagements I have lined up this year, those of you that can’t make it I will catch you on the trip side!

I can’t wait to get fitted for new bras, I read that it takes up to a year to get properly fitted for a new bra after a breast lift but my surgeon Dr. Capizzi said 6 months. I can’t even think of a structured bra right no, it hurts to have something other then cotton rubbing against my nipples. So I will stick to the rules (hate those things).

Good night everyone! Here’s to a new month!

Steff

DR. CAPIZZI IS THE BEST!

2008-07-26T16:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, can I just say that I totally freaked out this morning, when I woke up and my left armpit was covered in clearish-bloodishy-clearish-stuff and it was Saturday morning?! And anyone that is anyone that has followed me for awhile and or knows me knows that I do NOT deal with stuff like this very well.

I called everyone I knew that could be slightly related to anyone that may know someone that could be slightly related to the medical field.

“Hi, Ms. Johnson? This is Steffney, we arrive at Starbucks at the same time on Tuesday’s and I see that you wear scrubs… are you in the medical field?”

“Oh, you’re a vet tech? Well, see I have a call into my plastic surgeons office, while I wait for that call… what would you do about…”

No seriously, I called the nurses from my office that were literally waiting for me to give them the go ahead to meet me at our office in Charlotte but guess what? Jessica was on the ball and Dr. Capizzi, GOD BLESS HIM, was willing to meet me at his office on a Saturday in Huntersville to look at my incision. It had come open (very small section) from a small build up of fluid which can be very normal. He sewed it up right then and there like it was no big deal at all.

I felt HORRIBLE that he had to come in on a Saturday, but he said something that meant a lot he said “I wouldn’t want anyone else touching it.” I had told him that the nurses at work had offered to put “butterfly stitches” on it until Monday. This would’ve disappointed me, but wouldn’t have made me feel guilty about having a doctor come in on the weekend with his son in tow! When he said this I knew he cared about his work and the outcome of his patients.

Anyways, extra stitches and guilt, but fab doctor!. The extra fluid is super normal, I think I slept on that side on accident.

Steff

THE DRAINS ARE OUT!!!

2008-07-21T23:18:00.000-07:00

Can I get a WHOOT WHOOT!! Whew, that was awesome! AND I will say that it DID NOT HURT to get them removed either! The nurses at Stillwater are the BOMB! With that being said, I do have the knowledge that drains that are in for tummy tucks are a bit deeper then the ones that are in for things like breasts reconstructions or lifts (more superficial).

But this is a relief BABY!

I am so excited to have those drains out, it’s like a whole new phase of this journey. I feel like it’s getting out of the “medical” stage of healing. (Yes, I’m weird, you know that already.) I feel like now I’m going into the “forming” phase. I get to experience my breasts settling into the shape that they’re going to be. Getting new bras… pretty bras! Fitting into clothes differently, experiencing bathing suits differently and maybe not even having to wear a bra with a shirt or two… GASP!

But right now I am just happy not having to wear a cami under my shirt to hide the drains.

Small steps- People- Small steps.

Good night!

Cleaning, tape and gauze.

2008-07-18T23:15:00.000-07:00

I still have drains, but I think they are coming out on Monday. Thanks goodness, they are getting fluid still but it is gross draining the fluid out. My Dear Hubby is sweet about doing this. I actually have the best support system!

My hubby that has been through my whining, and complaining about the uniboob, stiffness and the tightness and then having to empty the drains. The nurse I work with cleans the incisions and I am telling you this is my guilty little pleasure every day because it feels like a little mini massage/scratch type deal. Plus it makes me feel a little bit better that I have someone checking out what is going on with my incisions. The girls I work with are so encouraging about the changes I will be going through with my body image. I am used to being the “Big Busted Girl,” and having a certain BIG personality that goes along with that. (Jess from Stillwater helped me out with that as well.) And last but not least The staff at Stillwater Plastic Surgery. Jess helped me from the start of the journey, Dr. Capizzi was patient and kind all the way through the surgery and the aftermath of waking up and my post-op appointments, the nurses of been great.

The surgical tape leaves a lot of goo. It’s a bit annoying because you don’t have any feeling to gauge how to get it removed. It’s very hard to explain how it feels, and how it feels not to be able to remove it. I feel embarrassed when I see the little pieces of tape goo.

I can’t wait to see how my new breasts settle in, I will say a new thing I have noticed is that my armpits are full. I had HOLLOW armpits when I went to sleep and now they are filled in and full. Not sure how that happened and when I figure it out I will let you know!

Steff

Office strip tease… and I invited the hospital girls over too.

2008-07-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

So today was the unveiling. I had been showing them off to a few people here and there but today was our administrative day at our office and the ladies couldn’t wait to see what had happened underneath my shirt, and I couldn’t wait to show them.

This was really a first for me because I am actually a very confident woman, with that being said… no one really KNEW what my “before” breasts looked like. So armed with the before pictures that I had taken at the Stillwater Office I called everyone into my office, laid out the before pictures SIDE/FRONTAL and unveiled the new breasts and everyone clapped!

I think everyone was in a bit of shock as well. No one really knew what extreme my breasts were before. I wore such great bras before, and my breast always looked really great in clothing.

Someone said, “You have your teenage breasts back!”

I had to laugh, I never had these breasts. These are definitely new to me literally and figuratively. My breasts were always misshapen and long (at least my memory of them), pointing towards the floor. So these perky breasts are all new!

Everyone was so fascinated at how different they look and how they don’t look like they JUST went through surgery it just two weeks today.

I can’t wait to get out of scrubs and into some cute dresses.

Yes, I let whoever wanted to touch them touch them! That’s the first thing I get asked. It’s a weird thing after plastic surgery, they (being breasts) don’t seem that private anymore. But they are still very swollen and “stiff” feeling.

Steff

First week back @ work is over…

2008-07-11T19:01:00.000-07:00

And I should have followed the doctor’s orders. Aren’t those famous last words somewhere? I think they are. Maybe not Shakespearean, but seriously there’s a reason those people get those fancy letters behind their names… they know what in the heck their talking about. I need to get some rest.

Talk to you soon.

Steff

This reconstruction is wiping me out!

2008-07-09T21:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, wow. 2nd day at work and you’d think that I’d ran a marathon and I do not have physical activity at my job!

I did go yesterday and have the drains taken out, thank God! Although there was some satisfaction in emptying them out thinking I was getting that stuff out of my body.

I got beautiful pictures of my new ladies… and then I got side by side pictures of them next to my “before” pictures. Shocking. I mean seriously shocking.

It’s funny how much more this has made me fall in Love with my husband. What a wonderful man he was (still is). I have always been insecure with my body and have never liked what my breasts looked like naked (I could always make them look fabulous in clothes.) but he never made me feel unsexy about them. He treated them just like they belonged on a super model. Now when I see them, especially NEXT to the before pictures I see truly that Love is blind. It sounds so superficial but I had NO breast tissue at all. AT ALL and the skin that was left could easily fill a large D cup. Just flaps of skin.

I am so thankful for this reconstruction. I am so thankful it’s possible!

Here is to God’s gift to men! (Meaning gifted doctors not boobs, perverts!)

Steff

Holy weight gain plastic surgeon!

2008-07-06T18:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, sooooo correct me if I’m wrong but if you have skin and fatty tissue removed from your body wouldn’t you think that you’d LOSE weight, not gain 11 pounds?!?!

I’m kind of bummed because I will have to go back to work tomorrow (yes, against the doctors preferable wishes) and I feel like a blimp everywhere but my perky new (very sore) breasts. Argh!

I’m going to chalk it up to the fact that I have not urinated a lot and I am drinking like a fish out of water (crystal light, water and un sweet tea). So water weight maybe? I also have not had a bowel movement yet which I’m told is anesthesia and pain meds. I haven’t taken much of the pain meds today and I’m going to the pharmacy later today to see what I can do to detoxify myself. Yeah, yeah full of…

I’m not bruising much at ALL! I absolutely believe it is from this stuff they gave me called “arnica montana.” I don’t know what it is exactly, I’ve never heard of it before and I’m going to ask the dietician I work with tomorrow about it. I am a DARK bruiser and I have yellowish bruises already, like they’re already healing. Crazy.

Anyways, I have to find something to wear tomorrow that is easy access to, showing my new breasts off!

Steff

Happy Fourth!

2008-07-04T19:05:00.000-07:00

Only Fireworks I care about today is the ones that are making me keep gauze between my bras and my nipples! YES!! I have feelings in my nipples!! They’re actually very tender. I can’t believe how scared I was that I wouldn’t have any feelings in them. I am still very tired, so hubby is on his own with the neighbor kids tonight.

I’m sleeping in the recliner because I don’t really have “feeling” in my breasts. Does that make sense? They’re very sore… but numb…? I’m scared to roll over on them. Hahaha like they’re my brand new babies. DH is being so sweet, he’s sleep on the couch in the living room with me so I’m not alone.

Eat lots of great food, enjoy our Independence and look for me next year in some fantastic top!

Steff

No more woola-boola boobies.

2008-07-03T20:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I have new “ladies.” Surgery went well, or so I’m told by the nurses and Dr. Capizzi, but seriously waking up was easy. (I actually woke up because someone was trying to put a catheter in…) I was really sore until they got the “pretty” bra on me to keep these puppies close to my body, what a relief!

I have two drains and I have tape all over exactly where the incisions are. My incisions look like an anchor and go from the middle of my breast plate to where my back starts. I’m not exactly sure this is how long the incisions are for all breasts lifts, but after a weight loss of over 230 lbs, I think that my bra roll was a bit more out of control then most people. Or so I’ve happily convinced myself. I have very small areolas! Ok, actually what I had before were I guess monstrous areolas, and Dr. Capizzi put them back in their place… hee hee.

But that’s not why I’m taking a moment to sit here and write on the World Wide Web. It certainly doesn’t feel delightful to sit straight up right now, but I needed to tell someone… you know more then the 10 people I’ve already called and screamed into the phone about it.

Today when I went for my post-op visit Dr. Capizzi unwrapped my breasts and for the first time I saw my nipples by just looking down. Literally. What I mean for those of you that may be naturally gifted is I did not have to look in a mirror or lift my limp breast up, I could see them poking out of their white tape. It was everything for me not to burst into tears. 1.) My beautiful nipples were in place and Dr. Capizzi said they were “alive.” (I took that as a good thing since there are some cases in where the tissue does not take.) and 2.) I had a uni-boob!

LOL!

Not prepared for either of those two experiences, to actually see my nipples right there where they should be (not sure where I thought they were going to go…) and all the surgical swelling that the cleavage area was holding so much fluid.

Dr. Capizzi has such a great sense of humor, you can see in his eyes he’s thinking… “she can’t be serious!” But he is so patient and considerate when he explains everything. I had my bandages changed and came home.

That was all I did and I was WIPED OUT, I slept for 2 hours and then wrote this and I actually may take another little nap now.

Here’s to something new tomorrow.

Steff

What a day… before!

2008-07-01T20:15:00.000-07:00

Ok so today I tried to get everything done that I thought I would need to before having my breasts redone. (Trying not to say scary words right now!)

I have been taking supplements for 2 weeks, zinc and Vitamin E and cranberry extract and pomegranate extract. Those are in addition to my multi-vitamin, Biotin, B-12 (wkly), B-Complex, Calcium+D and Cinnamon. Can’t really tell a difference with all of that,
But…

Today I went to a hypno-therapist! Um yeah, cool huh? It helps with anxiety, stress, well tons of stuff. I had been intending to go forever; I finally just made the appointment. I am so excited about this!

I didn’t actually START the therapy today, I just had an initial consult, but craziest thing is, now I am totally psyched about tomorrow (new boobs!). Not that I wasn’t already, but the idea that I am taking a step forward to enhance an experience that I am so thankful for.

I never dreamt that I would be taking this step. I could never have imagined that I would be having plastic surgery, my own body contouring…

The financial aspect of it has been scary and maybe that was what I was worried about, should I really be investing this into myself?

But that is almost like telling myself “you’re not worth it…” something I would literally wrestle my friends over if I heard them say it to themselves. I am worth it! Everyday I wake up and put on my butterfly wings, I am proud of the journey I have taken to get here… to even say “I AM WORTH IT.”

But I am on my way to having beautiful butterfly wings, not just “healthy and improved” wings.

Take to the skies with me! (ok, wait a few days.)

Talk to you soon. (Not sure when I’ll update, but I will asap.)

I still have homework to do, bleh.

Steff

Ok, ok, OKAY! I get it.

2008-06-30T15:46:00.000-07:00

So I called Jessica at Stillwater, I’m pretty sure she told me one time that they have caller ID, so no shame in my game now!

She said that I probably can not talk Dr. Capizzi into breast implants at the time of my lift. She explained (again, he had done this the TWO times I visited with him) that the tissue at the top of my breasts, which would be the only tissue holding it up, is too loose and “thin” and needs time to strengthen. Damn it.

But again, like I have been in all my little excursions on my weight loss journey I listened to some key words that stick and I play back. And what I heard was “talk him into…” I do not want to “talk him into” anything that has to do with 1.) His professional judgment. 2.) That I really already knew why. 3.) He’ll have a knife and I’ll be asleep.

I suppose I am being a brat, and I don’t want to go against a plan we already had.

I’ve actually seen some of my own friends have implants done at the same time, and they had been very unhappy. (one looked fabulous, but I think it was because she had MUCH smaller breasts then most)

I actually called an acquaintance that has ties to another plastic surgeon, and she told me the same thing’s I have been told. I got to speak with the surgeon later on today and he said all the exact same thing’s the Dr. Capizzi did, and gave him (Dr. C) compliments. I felt horrible talking to someone else. But it actually made me feel a lot better about my breast surgery.

So basically what I learned today was…
You know when your husband begs and begs for something, you’ve said no and for very valid reasons, that at times he actually agrees with. Then after he plays o the internet and watches videos about motorcycles (fill in the blank with what you need to make this an appropriate vision) and finally one day you snap and say…

“FINE! Do what you want!!”

And you usually follow it up with some sort of, when you get in some horrible tragic accident; don’t call me and what exactly would you like to tell your child when you’re laid up in the hospital?

Really you don’t mean that he can do it (and really I dare any man that reads this to even try it) you’re just annoyed that rationale hasn’t set in yet?

I told myself that today. I know that Dr. Capizzi has great reasons as to why he does not like to put implants in at the same time as a lift. I just had to ask, ask, and ask again. I would feel better that I felt annoying right now, apposed to HATING the results because I didn’t listen to the professional to begin with.

Long day today. I have exciting news about tomorrow and not just me pre-op appointment.

Steff

I just need reassurance… right?

2008-06-29T23:12:00.000-07:00

So it’s Sunday night, the Sunday before my surgery. I have let my hubby feel them for what he clearly now thinks is the very last time he’ll ever get a chance to because I emphasized… pay attention to them. (It’s kind of like last supper syndrome before you have weight loss surgery… or that’s my excuse!)

He’s asleep and I am up looking at boobs. All over the internet, and there’s a lot of them! No on a serious note, I am looking at so many plastic surgery websites I can’t figure out why men pay to see them on… other sites.

I do wish that Dr. Capizzi would consider putting the implants in at the same time. I know that I am going to ask about it tomorrow. I mean what if I have a boys chest? For those of you that have not skimmed through my pictures or may not pay attention to boobs, I fill a D right now, overflow a little. I love it. I just hate them as they are.

I see pictures of women that have had breast implants at the same time of their breast lift.

He just has really good reasons not too. ARGH. I’m not going to tell you what they are until I bring them up again, see where it gets me.

The last time I may feel them… I might have to wake him up!

Steff

Tiny feelings of... what if I can never feel that again?

2008-06-24T18:18:00.000-07:00

So my surgery is a little more then a week away, and of course, per usual… I am freaking out!

I have called and emailed Jessica (if I haven’t mentioned this is the Patient Coordinator at the office) way too many times. She has been so calm and comforting. I know if one of my own patient’s had called this much I would be… ok well, I would do the same thing she does, she’s the pro. I should email her and tell her she has done so much to calm my nerves, she really has, I’m not ass kissing! She has went into so much detail about what to expect during, after… three days after (she said that’s when I’ll hate them, we’ll see!) and then how it will feel later on.

Ok, I stopped long enough to email her.

So what am I getting done? A breast lift. Dr. Capizzi had talked about liposuction at the same time, but I think the plans of changed. I am having my body contouring done in two stages.

As a matter of fact, Dr. Capizzi called me back for a second consult, when I got there he said “I’ve been thinking…” He had reconsidered the fact that he had discussed a circumferential body lift with me at the first consult and he wanted to look at my back again.

Those words sealed it for me with him. “I’ve been thinking…” It made me very confident in his decisions about what to do with a body that has been through so much. (massive weight gain, massive weight loss, hysterectomy-early menopause etc.) Albeit that a lot of what my body has been through are things that I pretty much volunteered it for, I felt like this man was really taking into consideration what he could do with it.

ANYWAYS… (famous side track)

I am having a breast lift, possibly liposuction and then in approximately 3 months the plan is to have a abdominoplasty **ahem** real tummy tuck **ahem** and possibly breast implants.

I know, I know! Why implants? I am going to see where they stand (hee, hee) after the lift, Dr. Capizzi and other people have said to me that I may love them as is… but I have always been a big busted girl. I would like to keep my current size, just have real breast, not long-flat-pancaky-pieces-of-skin-that-have-nipples-on-the-end (yes END) that-I-roll up-and-fluff-out and I just happen to call breasts because that’s where the bra lets them sit… Whew, that was a mouth full! (hee, hee)

So why did I type so long today? Because I’m freaking out! What if I have teeny tiny boobies? What if I can’t ever feel my nipples again?! I need those!

It just makes me feel better to let it all out to you, soon enough you’ll be in this same place!

So here's some really exciting news... for real.

2008-06-16T17:32:00.000-07:00

Ok, so the decision has been made. I am going to move forward with my final “reconstruction stage” of weight loss surgery journey.

I called Jessica today @ Dr. Capizzi’s office and said “I’m ready as soon as we can get OR time…”

She said, “ok, (insert clickity clicks here from her perfect nails on her keypad) she said, I have time on July 2nd.”

Ummm of 2008?

HOLY COW!

Wow, that is close. Two weeks. The conversation lasted for a few more minutes, she is a ton of fun to talk to, but I can’t remember a word she said. Good thing she wasn’t relying on me to call 911 because there was some sort of catastrophe going on over at Stillwater.

I would’ve hung up only thinking about… me.

We, and when I say “we” I really mean the professional and my silly thoughts about what a body should look like had discussed what would be happening with my surgeries and what to expect.

This is a huge decision. In many ways it means I am comfortable where my body has decided to plateau after major weight loss. I am over five years out from my Roux-en-Y gastric bypass, and the path to this very point in my life has been an interesting one, definitely has been more then just a “body/image” journey!

Well, I thought I would update you on my journey and as usual keep you updated on all the “ins and outs” of how it goes…

Here’s to freaking out. July 2, 2008 I will have new breasts.