Ok, ok, OKAY! I get it.

So I called Jessica at Stillwater, I’m pretty sure she told me one time that they have caller ID, so no shame in my game now!

She said that I probably can not talk Dr. Capizzi into breast implants at the time of my lift. She explained (again, he had done this the TWO times I visited with him) that the tissue at the top of my breasts, which would be the only tissue holding it up, is too loose and “thin” and needs time to strengthen. Damn it.

But again, like I have been in all my little excursions on my weight loss journey I listened to some key words that stick and I play back. And what I heard was “talk him into…” I do not want to “talk him into” anything that has to do with 1.) His professional judgment. 2.) That I really already knew why. 3.) He’ll have a knife and I’ll be asleep.

I suppose I am being a brat, and I don’t want to go against a plan we already had.

I’ve actually seen some of my own friends have implants done at the same time, and they had been very unhappy. (one looked fabulous, but I think it was because she had MUCH smaller breasts then most)

I actually called an acquaintance that has ties to another plastic surgeon, and she told me the same thing’s I have been told. I got to speak with the surgeon later on today and he said all the exact same thing’s the Dr. Capizzi did, and gave him (Dr. C) compliments. I felt horrible talking to someone else. But it actually made me feel a lot better about my breast surgery.

So basically what I learned today was…
You know when your husband begs and begs for something, you’ve said no and for very valid reasons, that at times he actually agrees with. Then after he plays o the internet and watches videos about motorcycles (fill in the blank with what you need to make this an appropriate vision) and finally one day you snap and say…

“FINE! Do what you want!!”

And you usually follow it up with some sort of, when you get in some horrible tragic accident; don’t call me and what exactly would you like to tell your child when you’re laid up in the hospital?

Really you don’t mean that he can do it (and really I dare any man that reads this to even try it) you’re just annoyed that rationale hasn’t set in yet?

I told myself that today. I know that Dr. Capizzi has great reasons as to why he does not like to put implants in at the same time as a lift. I just had to ask, ask, and ask again. I would feel better that I felt annoying right now, apposed to HATING the results because I didn’t listen to the professional to begin with.

Long day today. I have exciting news about tomorrow and not just me pre-op appointment.

Steff

I just need reassurance… right?

So it’s Sunday night, the Sunday before my surgery. I have let my hubby feel them for what he clearly now thinks is the very last time he’ll ever get a chance to because I emphasized… pay attention to them. (It’s kind of like last supper syndrome before you have weight loss surgery… or that’s my excuse!)

He’s asleep and I am up looking at boobs. All over the internet, and there’s a lot of them! No on a serious note, I am looking at so many plastic surgery websites I can’t figure out why men pay to see them on… other sites.

I do wish that Dr. Capizzi would consider putting the implants in at the same time. I know that I am going to ask about it tomorrow. I mean what if I have a boys chest? For those of you that have not skimmed through my pictures or may not pay attention to boobs, I fill a D right now, overflow a little. I love it. I just hate them as they are.

I see pictures of women that have had breast implants at the same time of their breast lift.

He just has really good reasons not too. ARGH. I’m not going to tell you what they are until I bring them up again, see where it gets me.

The last time I may feel them… I might have to wake him up!

Steff

Tiny feelings of... what if I can never feel that again?

So my surgery is a little more then a week away, and of course, per usual… I am freaking out!

I have called and emailed Jessica (if I haven’t mentioned this is the Patient Coordinator at the office) way too many times. She has been so calm and comforting. I know if one of my own patient’s had called this much I would be… ok well, I would do the same thing she does, she’s the pro. I should email her and tell her she has done so much to calm my nerves, she really has, I’m not ass kissing! She has went into so much detail about what to expect during, after… three days after (she said that’s when I’ll hate them, we’ll see!) and then how it will feel later on.

Ok, I stopped long enough to email her.

So what am I getting done? A breast lift. Dr. Capizzi had talked about liposuction at the same time, but I think the plans of changed. I am having my body contouring done in two stages.

As a matter of fact, Dr. Capizzi called me back for a second consult, when I got there he said “I’ve been thinking…” He had reconsidered the fact that he had discussed a circumferential body lift with me at the first consult and he wanted to look at my back again.

Those words sealed it for me with him. “I’ve been thinking…” It made me very confident in his decisions about what to do with a body that has been through so much. (massive weight gain, massive weight loss, hysterectomy-early menopause etc.) Albeit that a lot of what my body has been through are things that I pretty much volunteered it for, I felt like this man was really taking into consideration what he could do with it.

ANYWAYS… (famous side track)

I am having a breast lift, possibly liposuction and then in approximately 3 months the plan is to have a abdominoplasty **ahem** real tummy tuck **ahem** and possibly breast implants.

I know, I know! Why implants? I am going to see where they stand (hee, hee) after the lift, Dr. Capizzi and other people have said to me that I may love them as is… but I have always been a big busted girl. I would like to keep my current size, just have real breast, not long-flat-pancaky-pieces-of-skin-that-have-nipples-on-the-end (yes END) that-I-roll up-and-fluff-out and I just happen to call breasts because that’s where the bra lets them sit… Whew, that was a mouth full! (hee, hee)

So why did I type so long today? Because I’m freaking out! What if I have teeny tiny boobies? What if I can’t ever feel my nipples again?! I need those!

It just makes me feel better to let it all out to you, soon enough you’ll be in this same place!

So here's some really exciting news... for real.

Ok, so the decision has been made. I am going to move forward with my final “reconstruction stage” of weight loss surgery journey.

I called Jessica today @ Dr. Capizzi’s office and said “I’m ready as soon as we can get OR time…”

She said, “ok, (insert clickity clicks here from her perfect nails on her keypad) she said, I have time on July 2nd.”

Ummm of 2008?

HOLY COW!

Wow, that is close. Two weeks. The conversation lasted for a few more minutes, she is a ton of fun to talk to, but I can’t remember a word she said. Good thing she wasn’t relying on me to call 911 because there was some sort of catastrophe going on over at Stillwater.

I would’ve hung up only thinking about… me.

We, and when I say “we” I really mean the professional and my silly thoughts about what a body should look like had discussed what would be happening with my surgeries and what to expect.

This is a huge decision. In many ways it means I am comfortable where my body has decided to plateau after major weight loss. I am over five years out from my Roux-en-Y gastric bypass, and the path to this very point in my life has been an interesting one, definitely has been more then just a “body/image” journey!

Well, I thought I would update you on my journey and as usual keep you updated on all the “ins and outs” of how it goes…

Here’s to freaking out. July 2, 2008 I will have new breasts.